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by Clouds on Monday
Summary: It’s all going downhill. This is not supposed to happen. We were such close friends, and now... we are just falling apart. And guess whose fault it is... mine. All me. And for once, I’m not blaming the drugs.


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Synopsis: It's all going downhill. This is not supposed to happen. We were such close friends, and now... we are just falling apart. And guess whose fault it is... mine. All me. And for once, I'm not blaming the drugs.

Authors note: Ahahaha! Bet you didn't see this one coming! I've read soooo many fanfics now and almost every single fic has the same storyline and cliché's. Well, I guarantee that this story is something a little different... actually, stuff that, maybe even more different than others.

Any Finn fans out there, I suggest you turn away now... I got pretty upset when writing this :O

Hope you enjoy this rather depressing one-shot.

- - -

Hey! I'm Finn! Or you can call me the Finnster, I don't mind. Both names are awesome anyway, like me! I am an awesome person! And to show you just how awesome I have been, Piper completely trusts me now. When we were around fourteen Piper didn't trust me at all. I think it's because I was slightly out of hand when it came to pranking her. Hell, childish or not, those pranks were so funny. Ah, the memories...

Anyway, about Piper, we started to get closer because she likes Aerrow. I've been helping her out by playing cupid, and thanks to my awesome love skills they are now an official couple! Didn't I tell you that I was awesome? Yeah, awesome is my favourite word now.

Awesome...

- - -

You know, I'm pretty proud of myself. I see Piper and Aerrow together, having fun and stuff, all thanks to me. Wonderful and glorious me, oh yeah.

I'm kind of surprised though. Aerrow and Piper both liked each other for ages. Four years ago, when we were fourteen, I extracted some information from them and I found out that they liked each other then. But still, they waited a long couple of years before they actually did get together. Man, why wait?

- - -

Piper bought me a book as a gift. She said it was to say thank you or something. Well, I'm still bummed that the gift wasn't a concert ticket, and that reading is something I hate with a passion. But, for some strange reason, I kind of liked it. Not the gift, god I hate reading, but the thought. Y'know, I'm happy that Piper gave me a gift.

- - -

It's been a few weeks now. Since they both have been together, that is. And both of them aren't hanging around with us that much anymore. It's a little boring if it's just me, Junko, Stork and Radarr. I don't want to sound mean or anything, but I'm starting to get a little sick of it when they both have fun. Didn't we all use to have fun together? We are a group, and now it feels like the group has split into two. I don't know...

Maybe it's just my imagination.

- - -

Junko doesn't hang around with us much anymore. He often goes out to see his family. Not that it is a bad thing, it's just that I can't help but feel a little jealous that he has a family to visit. I only knew one member of mine, and she is long dead. Mom and Dad; never met them. Aunts and Uncles; don't know whether they exist. Grandma and Grandpa; never met them either. I had a sister; she looked after me until I was eleven. She said she would tell me what really happened to our family when I turn fifteen. That never happened, she died before my twelfth birthday and I'm left alone, clueless about my origins.

- - -

Radarr and Stork are always in the Condor, fixing bits and bobs. It gets boring now. Junko permanently moved back to his Terra now. I'm left here virtually on my own now. I can't go out with Stork and Radarr because they are too busy. I'm just stuck here, while Aerrow and Piper are out eating each other's faces. I'm sick of them now. It's like their little friendship is suddenly better than ours. All of their time is now dedicated for each other. Did they forget us?

- - -

I don't know why, but all of a sudden I'm starting to feel a little stressed. Most especially at Aerrow. He seems to drag Piper around, without any regard to her well being. I know what Piper likes. She likes calm walks, chilling out and talking about... stuff. Aerrow keeps on taking her to these stupid stunt shows and action movies. C'mon! That's the sort of thing that you take adrenalin junkies to, not someone like Piper. Piper likes to relax. She likes to sit down. She likes to slow down. She likes bed in breakfast. She likes looking out of her window before going to bed.

I could do a better job than Aerrow.

- - -

Piper, Aerrow and I were invited to a party. Piper looked great. It's hard to believe that this same girl lives with us. Aerrow got on my nerves the whole night. He kept on controlling her around, and always got suspicious when she was near another guy. It's like he doesn't trust her. Piper got annoyed with him and left the party early. Aerrow stuck around the party. I couldn't stand it so I left too.

I found her on the way home, and it was kind of nice. The night was cold so I did the cheesy thing and gave her my jacket. I don't know whether it was a good idea or not, I got really cold instead! Piper was in a dress, so she must be even colder. I don't how girls can do this to themselves sometimes.

Then Piper started crying. I was really nervous and shocked then. When a girl cries, I have no idea what to do. I just looked like an idiot, staring at her. She came up to me and hugged me, and then I started to hug her back. I never hugged her before. It was nice, but I don't know whether I should appreciate a girl's hug when she cries, so I guess this hug doesn't count. I don't know! Girls are confusing me!

Then she started telling me that it was a mistake to be with Aerrow. I got really worried then. She said that Aerrow doesn't really know how she truly feels about him. I asked her what she was talking about, but then she decided not to talk about it anymore. She told me that we'll have to talk in private later.

All I can do now is wait.

- - -

It was the middle of the night when I felt someone wake me up. It was Piper. She was shivering in her nightgown so I told her to come under the covers, so she could warm up. What is it with girls and always getting cold?

Anyway, we both were both under the duvet and she decided to snuggle up with me. Not that I didn't enjoy it or anything, I actually like it. At first I thought she suddenly fell asleep on me until she started whispering. She told me about how she never really liked Aerrow. She started crying again, so I hugged her even tighter, even though my shirt started to become a little soggy. I was silent, and just listened to Pipers words.

She said that she had this small crush on him when they were younger, but that ended as we aged. When she came to me about Aerrow, it wasn't because she loved him. She came to me so that she could speak to me, get closer to me. It soon clicked when she abruptly became silent.

She loved me. Aerrow was just a front.

Her head slowly crept up, and I couldn't help but go crimson at how close she was to me. She gave me a swift peck on the cheek before burrowing her face into my neck. I decided to push my luck, and lifted her face to mine. I returned her a quick peck too, though on her forehead.

All of a sudden I felt really happy.

- - -

It became apparent now that Aerrow had clicked about what was going on. Piper was starting to ignore him and put her attention to me. When Aerrow and I come back to the Condor from missions, it is always me that she runs to. She always turned to me when she needed help. She always talked to me when she was lonely. She always came to me when she was sad.

I always tell her to split up with Aerrow if she doesn't want to be with him anymore, but she says that she doesn't know how to. She never was the type to break someone else's heart. What she doesn't know is that Aerrow has caught up with what is going on.

I was the first one to find out how he now feels.

I got the bruised jaw to prove it.

- - -

I was woken up again in the middle of the night. At first I thought it was Piper, and then my perception changed when the entity spoke. It was Aerrow. He wasn't very happy; he told me that he and Piper had just split. I was wondering why he wanted to tell me this. I soon found out though.

He thrust a large suitcase at me, and dumped a rucksack on my bed. He said that the Storm Hawks is breaking apart, and it was my fault that this was all happening. He made it clear to me that he was the leader of the squadron, and to keep it alive he needed to make sacrifices. He gave me a choice.

I had no choice.

And so... I left. No, I wasn't kicked out. I left by my own accord.

It was either me or Piper.

- - -

It's been a few weeks. I am now a Storm Hawk no longer. I'm no longer a wingman to my leader. I no longer have a leader, come to think of it. I am my own boss. No one is there to tell me what to do. No one is there for me to answer to. In fact, I don't think I have ever had such freedom before. Aside from the added responsibility for myself, I really enjoyed it.

I think I might finally lead a normal life.

Just what I had always wanted.

- - -

I got a job as a freelancer. Kinda like a badass bounty hunter. I hunt down criminals, bring them back, and get a nice reward for my efforts. I don't really know what to do with my growing amount of money, but I'll find new ways to spend them, since don't really have anyone to spend my money on now.

I guess I really am by myself.

- - -

I met a girl called Chase. She's also a freelancer, and we bumped into each other when we were hunting for the same person. I caught the criminal though, since she was such a crap shot with her crossbow. Chase was a little bummed out that she didn't catch the guy, so I offered to take her out for lunch.

I don't know why, but I also offered to teach her how to aim her crossbow properly. She accepted.

- - -

Freelancing has a really good pay rate, depending who you are hunting. But the only downside to the job is that offers are few and far between, leaving me with too much free time. I seem to have raised the bar to being bored. I don't feel like myself if I have nothing to do.

But Chase often came by to visit me. She was a real wild party goer, and she always drags me with her to clubs and bars. Ever since I met her, our free time has suddenly escalated from a period of being bored to a non-stop party session. Sometimes we even gatecrash to other peoples parties.

My money soon became dedicated to drinking.

- - -

It's hard being sober. I keep shaking from time to time, making it hard for my sharpshooting skills. This means that I wasn't as good at catching criminals as before. But I still got an income, just not as much as before. It didn't stop me though. After a while you get used to the disgusting taste of dirt cheap beer.

- - -

My free time was no longer a string of parties, but a blur. I had difficulty with trying to remember the events of the nights before. Sometimes I wake up in weird places around town, with no idea with how I got there. Not to mention the huge headache that came with it.

Sometimes I wake up in a bed, with Chase next to me, my clothes strewn all over the floor.

I never knew that we were sleeping with each other now.

I don't even remember the first time I did it.

- - -

I keep shaking. I'm always shaking. It's hard to stop. I always feel sick. The migraines are getting worse. I was only speaking in vowels. Consonants were so hard to pronounce. There's something wrong with me. I can't sleep it off. I can't even sleep. I'm going to die.

Shit. I feel like I'm dying. Even if I'm not, I'm going to kill myself to get rid of the headaches.

I'm going to kill myself. God, I need a drink. Get me a drink. Give me something to drink. Anything. Before I really do kill myself.

Chase staggered to the bathroom. She said she could hear me shouting. I told her to go away. Just get lost. Get out. I feel like shit. Get out. I want to be alone. I told you to get out. What are you doing? What is that? God, that hurt my arm. Stop squeezing my arm with my belt. What is that? I don't like needles.

Ouch. What is in that thing? I hope that's not medicine. I don't want medicine. I want a drink. I want a drink. Get me a drink. I want... I don't want a drink anymore. My headache is going. It's gone. You can take the belt off my arm now. Haha, that tickles. Hey, come back, I want to talk to you. You know, you look really sexy right now. Yeah, I mean it. No, I don't care if you're drunk, you look good anyway.

You can take off more than that belt, Chase.

- - -

I remembered. I remember why I forget the nights. I want more of that stuff. I'm always shaking without it. I don't care if it messes up my memory. It gets rid of the headaches. I'm strapped for cash at the moment, so I guess I can go without food for a while. I just want some of that... that... whatever that was.

I'm feeling sick. Where is Chase? Where is she? I need that again. My headache is coming back. Chase? Chase! Where are you? God, I need you right now! Where is that girl? I'm dying again! I'm dying! My head! My head, fuck it hurts! Chase, you little bitch. Where are you? Give me that syringe again. Get me that stuff. I need it. Where the fuck are you? Where are you? Where is the syringe? What have you done to me?

I need you Chase. I need you so bad. You're the only person that I've got. You're the only girl that I've cared about. The only girl that has treated me right. We're having loads of good times. Our time is just one big ball of good times. I don't remember most of them, but I bet that they were great.

There you are. What took you so long?

- - -

Chase. You're the only girl for me. You're the only girl I care about. You're so good to me. I love you. I love you. I love you Chase.

The only girl... the only girl that I care about.

Except that other girl I also used to care about.

What's her face?

Yeah, what's her face, she was great too. She was fantastic. What was her name? Damn, what was her name? I think her name was... I think she was called Chase too. Yeah! Chase. That was her name.

I love you Chase.

Chase. You're the only girl for me. You're the only girl I care about. You're so good to me. I love you. I love you. I love you Chase.

I... I love you Chase. I miss you.

God, I love you.

I need you right now.

I'm dying.

I love you Piper.

Where are you?

- - -

I don't remember where I am. I'm in a weird place. I don't know where I am. Wait. This is my bed. This is my room. I know where I am now. What's the time? Wow, I'm never up this early. I guess I have more work to do; some mail has just come in. More freelancing to do, more crime to stop, more money to party. Party with Chase. Come think of it, I haven't seen her for a few days. She left me with a few syringes so I can still get my fix.

I can hear the shower. She must have come back when I was asleep. I waited outside the bathroom for a while now. She's taking her sweet old time. The door is open. That's strange; I thought she always locks the bathroom door.

Chase was in the bath tub. She was lying in there. She was just lying there. Her clothes are still on, and they are getting soaked from the shower. I quickly turned off the shower, and I pulled Chase out. She was limp, and heavy. I stepped on something. I looked down. There were eight syringes on the floor, all of them empty.

Shit.

Wake up Chase. Please wake up.

Oh God, please wake up.

This isn't supposed to happen. None of this is supposed to happen. I don't want this. I really don't. I want to go back to a normal life. I want to go back to the time where I was a Storm Hawk. We were a team. We had each other. Our time wasn't wasted on drinking, drugs, partying, sleeping around, and waking up in strange places...

I want to wake up.

This is reality. I'm a mess. Chase is dead. I have no-one.

I have to find Piper.

I need help.

- - -

The police came. They took away Chase's body. I was sent to hospital. I am going to get clean. I don't want Piper to find out about this. I'm going to get better. This time, starting now, I am going to live my life. I'm not going to throw it away. I'm going to make my life worth living.

- - -

News spreads pretty fast, like wildfire. Rumour has it that a previous member of the Storm Hawks has gone in a self destructing spiral. That dude is an idiot. I went down that road, and it only makes your life worse. Aerrow is an idiot to do that to himself.

The only difference between Aerrow and I is that now I have Piper. She found me.

Oh yeah, and I forgot to add another difference;

I survived.

I was under the spell. And I got out of it.

- - -

_Finn._

_Lol, see what I did there? XD_

_Tell me what you think in a review :)_


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